Finding Your Third Place: a space to be your authentic self.

Do you find yourself craving community? It’s a headline we see time and time again—that we’re amidst a loneliness epidemic and that we have fewer friends than previous generations.

In a sprawling city like Chicago, many women find themselves oscillating between the demands of home and work. These primary spaces, though essential, leave little room for personal growth, reflection, and community engagement. Enter the idea of a third place.

A third place is somewhere that isn’t your home (first place) or your work (second place). It’s a spot where you can meet people, have meaningful conversations, and feel connected. Why do these spaces matter? Studies show they help us expand our social circles, which boosts both mental and physical health.

When I think of a third place, I picture the bar from Cheers or the Central Perk coffeeshop from Friends—a spot where you’re always welcome and everyone knows your name. It’s where you’re greeted by friendly faces every time you walk in. But third places aren’t just bars or cafes. They could be a park, hair salon, community center, place of worship, or something else entirely.

In its creation, ALTAR emerged organically as the third place my soul had been seeking, though I couldn't name it at the time.

Discover Your Sanctuary: Finding Your Ideal Third Place

When you recognize that a third place is what you’re looking for, you might feel overwhelmed with options. If you find yourself in a large city, like Chicago, you will find countless options that feel daunting to narrow down.

Just remember, this journey is about discovering a space and community that resonates with you, where you can feel free to embody your true, whole self. Your third place should offer just enough distance from both home and work, giving you the clarity to reflect on who you are beyond the roles and responsibilities of daily life.

When you’re seeking a sanctuary to call your third place, try asking yourself these questions:

What interests am I hoping to nurture?

Consider activities that bring you joy or help ground you. Maybe you love reading, creating art, practicing Pilates, or even just drinking tea and chatting with a friend. You should look for spaces that support your passions! When I’m feeling stuck, for instance, I enjoy tapping into my creative side with the art of SoulCollage®️. With that in mind, it became important to me that ALTAR has baskets of collage supplies ready for anyone who needs an artistic outlet. If you know you crave good conversation, look for a third place that encourages connection through cozy lounging areas or community events.

What interests do I want to explore?

Think about your curiosities—the interests and experiences you want to explore. Maybe you’d like to add meditation to your day, meet people to discover new restaurants with, or learn about ideas and practices that are new to you. Find a space that nurtures your existing interests and encourages you to try something new. That’s a sign that you’ve found a community of like-minded people you can grow with.

Do I feel like I can be myself in this space?

After you’ve answered the first two questions, you likely have a list of potential third places to visit. When you get the chance to see these spaces, check in with yourself and how you feel when you walk through the door. Do you feel safe? Do you see people who remind you of yourself, your friends, or communities you admire? Do you feel like you are welcome to be your whole, true self in this space? In founding ALTAR, I created a sanctuary where every woman can feel seen, valued, and fully accepted. They don’t need to prove themselves or perform for others. It’s a space made for women, by women. We encourage our members to bring their diverse interests and collective wisdom to share with the community.

Ultimately, discovering your third place is a highly personal journey that will enrich your life. Just remember that it’s okay if this process feels overwhelming. It takes a great deal of courage to step out of your comfort zone to visit new places and explore new ideas. The reward is worth the effort!

Remember, your third place is more than just a spot to visit—it's where you can truly be yourself. It gives you space to recharge, reflect, and grow in ways that home and work can't offer. When you find the right place, you'll feel a real sense of belonging in your community. The search for this special space matters, and the perfect one is out there waiting for you.

If you’re a woman in Chicago and have a feeling ALTAR might be the third place for you, I’d love for you to join our next free Open House. Our Open House events invite you to get a taste of all the goodness we have to offer and meet our community of amazing women.